Will you…

Will you be the hero that the world needs you to be?

I will.

Will you fight for honor and bravery and all the other stuff they say in movies?

I will.

Will you defeat the villain and restore peace?

I will.

Will you actually talk to your crush?

Probably.

Will you fight for the Honor of Grayskull?

No. That’s from She-ra.

Will you kill the villain when you defeat him?

Probably. Maybe. I dunno.

Will you eat this entire plate of pasta?

I don’t know where this came from, but I will eat this entire plate of pasta, for sure.

Will you use your newfound superpowers never for evil or personal gain?

Uh...I don’t know about never, but not a lot.

Will you wear a cape?

I mean capes are cool, and they feel great, but it’s kind of impractical, so no.

Will you get Hanz Zimmer to write your theme?

No, I’m getting John Williams

Will he return your call?

I certainly hope so.

Will you learn seven forms of martial arts training?

That seems a bit excessive...

Will you get me into the hip new bar, TalynClaw?

I thought you said not to use it for personal gain.

Will you work at TalynClaw during the day and be a superhero at night?

I mean......can you get me an interview?

Will you accept it if I can?

Totally!

Great! Will you get a TalynClaw special cocktail while you wait?

Uh...sure.

Will you sign up for the TalynClaw VIP points card?

No? I don’t think so?

Will you have some bread with that?

I mean....if it’s free.

Will you pay ten dollars for it?

What....no!

Will you sign here to accept your job at TalynClaw?

Yes. I mean, sure, if it’s hip.

TalynClaw now owns you. According to the fine print you may not do anything without our consent. We have added yet another superhero to our collection. Bye!